Murderarson's South Park
by murderarson
Summary: My masterpiece. Stan's turning 17, and Wendy is complicating his friendship with Kyle. But Kyle has problems of his own, as Bebe, Kenny's girlfriend, is hitting on him. And Cartman is feeling gay for Kyle, the person he hates the most! What will happen?
1. Introduction

Murderarson's South Park I: Introduction

POV: Stan

In a few days, I will turn seventeen. Wow, a lot of things changed from our days in fourth grade. For one, the friend group between me, Kyle, Cartman, & Kenny has dispersed, somewhat. Cartman is a star football player, defensive lineman. He leads the county in sacks & fumbles caused. Clyde, though I was never a very good friend of his, is a star quarterback, as if he doesn't get enough girls from the huge shoe company his dad owns. In fact, he actually doesn't get any girls now, because he's been going out with Rebecca for about two years. That reminds me of a conspiracy the girls thought of to get free shoes from him. It depressed Kyle because he was last on their list of boys, according to beauty. He's not that ugly, but his mom's genes caught up with him a little. Though they are right, Clyde is way better looking than Kyle, & I mean this in the straightest way possible. Token is a good running back, not the best, though. He's better than Moreno, a Broncos running back; at least I think so. Token also has a girlfriend, a new black girl named Rhonda.

I'm a baseball player, right field. It's the off-season now, & we lost in the second playoff round. Kyle's playing basketball; I have no idea about that. We haven't seen much of Kenny. He does heroin, & sleeping pills that he gets high off of. He snapped three days ago due to some hallucinations that were both from drugs & his mind. He packed up his crap, took his dad's gun, & stole his own car. It's actually frightening. One minute you're flipping through channels, then there's amber alert on one of your closest friends!

I woke up Monday morning, tired as I've ever felt. I agreed to meet Wendy on campus early, so I got up at like five. Damn it, why can't she wait like everyone else with a sane mind?

To my surprise, Wendy was waiting for me outside my front door. We walked for at least half a mile to school, talking about the new episodes the Simpson's & Family Guy. When we finally get to the campus, it was lifeless. I start to worry, because whatever she wanted to talk about, she wanted privacy. Why didn't we go to Stark's Pond? Everyone goes there for privacy. Wait, that's probably the reason we didn't go there.

"So what do you want to talk about?" I ask.

"Well, you're turning seventeen on the eleventh, right?" Wendy asks.

"Yeah, and?"

"I want to throw you a bitchin' party!"

"What?" I ask as I laugh.

"I want to throw you a huge seventeenth birthday party!"

"I told you, I don't want a huge party!"

"You're going to have a huge party, & I'm not changing my mind."

"Well, who's gonna plan it" I protest. Then, she rests her head on my chest, & says in her sexiest voice "But Stan, please? For me?"

"Okay, Wenders. Don't make it too big." I reply.

"I told you not to call me that! But YAAAAAY!" said Wendy. We then went into a passionate kiss, our tongues fighting for pleasure dominance. We were so into it that we fell of the bench we were sitting on, & rolled around until I was on top of her. We stopped, after her tongue won the battle. Our eyes made it unnecessary for words. They bled with the look of love.

"Hey, could you two wait till you get home to fuck?" said Mr. Garrison. I didn't know he worked at H. McCullough High.

"Mr. Garrison? Is that you?" Wendy asked.

"Yeah, I teach 11th Grade math. Those preps & emos in 4th Grade made me sick." Mr. Garrison replied.

"Mr. Garrison, this is your first day & you are inches away from being fired! Now, shouldn't you prepare your mathematics class!" said Dean Harris. "Now, children, Mr. Garrison has a point."

"Damn right I do!"

"What was that, Mr. Garrison?"

"Nothing."

"As I was saying, Mr. Garrison is right. You are underage, & I don't encourage any sexual acts between you two. Even if that wasn't the case, any sexual act on campus is punishable by expulsion. I know you weren't doing that, but this is your warning."

Wow, that wasn't supposed to be scary, but that guy can make any speech intimidating. Until Kyle arrived, Wendy & I just talked about the party & our relationship in the long term.

Kyle

"Damn it, where the fuck is Stan?" I shout to myself. "Oh, right. Wendy," I reply to myself. I know they're in a relationship & all, but I haven't seen Stan in weeks! Then, of all people, Bebe walks up to me at the bus stop. "Hi, Kyle," she says in a very gloomy tone.

"Hey," I reply.

"Sooo, um-"she says as I cut her off.

"I know why you're here. I don't have the slightest clue where Kenny is," I tell her.

"It's not about that. I was just hoping-"she said as she was cut off again.

"What, to suck his dick so you don't cry all the fucking time? What the fuck are you doing here, Bebe the whore?' Cartman asked, like the asshole he is.

"Get the hell out of here, fatass! She is not a whore, unlike your mom," I viciously replied. That always shuts him up, & it worked this time. Bebe still didn't speak until we got to school, though. At school, I asked Bebe about what she was saying earlier. She acted like I didn't exist.

In third period, I got a note during a lecture. It said, "Go to the bathroom in ten. B." I did as instructed. Bebe met me. "Hey, so about earlier," I ask.

"I was going to ask you if you'd like to go to dinner with me tonight," Bebe asked. Holy shit, this caught me by surprise! I thought that she was still depressed from Kenny running away!

POV: Cartman

Kyle, that fucking Jew! So what if my mother's a whore? She has to do something to pay the bills! It's better than thievery & lies, the methods his bastard Jew family is well known for! Now his boyish-cute (as I was told by other girls) form has gotten him laid, and we will have more Jew creatures infesting this world! Damn it! I've been thinking, the Jews have been persecuted throughout history, right? Well, I think that now is the time to do it again.

The KKK of Colorado is campaigning through small mountain towns and such to try and recruit new members. I think that this is my chance to start a legacy and rally the country against the abominations of the human race! The time of a healthy Earth is upon us!

I must admit, I have had these strange feelings about Kyle over the past few weeks. I just can't seem to be as vicious as I was when I was younger. I… I get a funny feeling down there when I talk to him. I can't talk to anyone because they'll think I'm a faggot. I just won't stand to depress my mom even more, and make her kill herself. In case you don't know, she's clinically depressed, being a hooker for most her life.

I see someone peer at my notebook. "Hey! Get the fuck away, you nosy asshole!" I shout in a hushed tone at Rebecca, who replied with a frown. She is actually the nicest person to me, because I listen to her problems. Originally, I wanted to get in her pants, but now I really care. I don't know why, I just do.

"Are you really that much of a supremacist?" asked Rebecca, annoyed.

"How much did you read, damn it!?" I ask and yelled, again hushed.

"Would both of you shut up and pay attention to my class?" barked Mr. Hancock, our American History teacher. Yes, I also found it humorous that he teaches American History and his name is Hancock.

In Study Hall, Rebecca sat next to me. I moved to another table; she followed. This continued for five minutes, until Dr. Smyth finally told us to stop, strangely into our original seats, in a far corner of the room. After a few minutes of awkward silence, I decide to break it.

"What do you want?" I ask in a bitter tone.

"About earlier, the notebook-"she says, as I cut her off.

"Look, you know me! I _am_ still that white supremacist! This can't be that much news to you!"

"I'm not talking about your dumbass scheme."

"It's not a dumbass scheme! I just need to work on my charisma, and I think I could do something about this problem."

"Cartman, please stop trying to avoid it."

"You wouldn't understand!"

"Why don't we talk in private about this?"

"NO! JUST FORGET IT!" I snap, getting the attention of the whole class.

"That's it! Eric, Rebecca, enjoy your detention this afternoon!" yelled Dr. Smyth.

POV: Kenny

I don't have much to say. The reason why I'm gone is because I don't act right when I'm high like that. I start fights with my closest friends. Sometimes, I beat Bebe. I'm just really violent to all. I fear that I drive away the ones I care about the most. I know I need to stop, but I'm just so hooked on the pills and heroin! I either don't give the slightest fuck about jack shit, or I'm violent and heartless. I'll probably return on Stan's birthday; I usually return to everyone with good timing. Until then, I'll just wait under the bridge…


	2. Relapse

Murderarson's South Park II: Relapse

**POV: Kyle**

"Um, I uh, I…" I stutter in shock of Bebe's question.

"Is that a yes, then?" Bebe asks.

"Me go now," I manage to get out as I run away. "Me go now"? What kind of a dumbass stutter is that? What the fuck is wrong with me? God damn it! I just blew my chance at being straight. I'll have to be gay with Cartman now. Ha! It'd be weird if I was that un persistent. Seriously, though, that was dumb as hell, what I said.

Damn, that raised so many red flags, that question! For one, why would she ask me out if she's dating Kenny, a missing person? Doesn't she miss him at all? You'd think that she'd be so upset that she wouldn't think about anything to do with dates. Also, what would Kenny have to do in a wasted rage to drive away such a hot chick like Bebe? Finally, why do I feel like this is so right?

I need to think. I go to the office, and say I don't feel good. I sign some things, and I just walk out. Holy shit, is it that easy to get out of school? Damn, if I knew that, then I wouldn't be in school so much. I walk to Stark's Pond, not that far away from school. Cartman is there, too, skipping stones. He catches sight of me, and, in a obvious lapse of judgment, he jumped from the pier into the icy lake. "What the hell?" I ask myself, as I take Cartman's seat.

**POV: Cartman**

That was a dumbass move! Damn it, Eric! What the hell! You have to confront Jew rat about this shit! But, how fucking psychotic would it be to climb out of the water and tell him, "Hey, I think I'm gay for you"! I swim to a towel on the beach, and I find the fucking shock of the day. Towelie, that dumbass drug addict (other than Kenny), is covered in jizz and lying motionless in the sand.

"Hey… fat kid… you… want me to… suck… your dick for… some Mary Jane?" Towelie manages to spit out (along with at least two cups of spooge) in a weak voice. He then puked all over me, curing my temperature issue, but sparking a list of new ones.

"What the fuck, Towelie? I thought that you were past this, that this was below you!" I shout at the poor bastard.

"Washcloth… hung himself… too long… God damn it, why? Why? Why did you kill him… bastard in Heaven! Die, fatty!" He then lunged at me with a knife, which I ducked to avoid and then caught him right on the chin with a roundhouse punch. Then, I called 911, and rode in the ambulance with him to spend the rest of the day.

**POV: Wendy**

In study hall, me and my friends got started immediately on the party plans.

"God, you've been dating him so long! How do you do it, Wendy?" asked Heidi.

"Me and Stan just, well, connect," I said. You know, when I think about it, I can't really put my finger on why me and Stan have been together for so long.

"I think that he and you have been together for too long," said Rhonda. Dumb bitch! Who is she to criticize my relationship?

I go to say something to her, then Rebecca says just as I open my mouth to talk, "Take it easy on her. She's new; she doesn't know any better."

"Fine," I reply. "But she won't be invited to the party."

I think that she may have heard me, but I don't care.

"Who should be at the party? Well," said Heidi as she closed in to whisper, "besides her."

"Well, all of you," I said. "and the rest of my friends, all of Stan's friends-"

"Who is that?" said Heidi, making a list of people.

"I don't know."

"Why don't we just charge admission, except for us, and Stan's closest friends," suggested Rebecca.

"Well, then, she might get in," I whispered.

"We can make a non-entrance list."

"And hire a bouncer!"

"Yeah! But, where are we getting alcohol?" asked Heidi.

"We can get Stan's dad to buy some kegs and forty's," Rebecca suggested. "Right! I'll ask him," I said.

"We should book Justin Bieber!"

"Fuck no! Stan and I both think he can eat a bag of AIDS and die, then burn in Hell forever!" I shouted.

After school, I went to find Stan. Where is he? I think that I'll look over at Stark's Pond.

**POV: Stan**

"Where is she? We were supposed to meet here," I say to Kyle. You see, I left after school and walked over to the Pond, where we agreed to meet. I saw Kyle, and talked to him shortly after seeing an ambulance pass by.

"That's sure as hell ain't as weird as my situation," said Kyle. "You don't have a psycho bitch asking you out while she's dating one of your closest friends!"

"Wendy did what?" I ask him.

"What? No, not Wendy! Bebe! She asked me out!"

"What the fuck? Why would she do that?"

"My question, exactly! Isn't she still dating Kenny?"

"I heard that they were going through some turbulence, but she should be, yeah."

"What kind of 'turbulence'?"

"Well, he occasionally beats her…"

"Oh my God! Really?"

"Yeah. Not too badly, but he put some bruises on her, and a cut here and there."

"Wow! That explains a shitload of my questions! But I still have one big question."

"What?"

"Well, I… I feel like-"

"There you are, Stan! Where have you been?" asked Wendy, rather rudely interrupting Kyle.

"We were supposed to meet here, remember?" I said.

"No, we agreed on the Colorado flag in front of the school," she protested.

"Well, there seems to be a gross misinterpretation. Stan, I'll call you later," said Kyle

"Sorry, man. Wendy and I have to go plan the party with her friends," I apologized.

"What party?"

"Oh, shit! I forgot! I'm having a party for my birthday!"

"I thought that you were just hanging with me, Ken, and maybe Wendy and drinking a beer!"

"Me, too. Until Wendy asked this morning." Kyle then just walked away, and I believed he flipped me off, too. I let it go; I know he's just mad.

**POV: Towelie**

Where the fuck am I? Everything's all white and stuff. I feel something in my arm. An IV? "What the hell?" I accidentally shout out.

"You're awake! Hey, everyone, he's awake! Oh, thank God!" shouted someone.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm Butters… Leopold? Remember?"

"That name… It's significant to me. I just can't put my finger on why.

"I was there at your intervention! Remember? It was seven years ago!"

"Yeah… I remember now! You're the faggot that forced me out of the sunshine! Asshole…"

"What"

"Nothing. What happened to me?"

"Well, you had a relapse and started smoking pot and sucking old man's dick again. Then you crumpled on the beach. Eric found you and… Eric! Get in here and apologize!"

"God, take it easy, Butters! Sorry, Towelie. You just lunged at me with a knife, so… yeah," said some fat kid.

"Thank you, Eric," continued Leopold. "We all know that knife story isn't true, but at least he apologized. So anyway, you were taken here, and as it turns out, you were drowning from all the cum you swallowed., which was drying in your lungs. The doctors performed surgery on you for three hours, then I arrived, then you woke up!"

"Holy shitty asshole ball sack teat! Where's Washcloth! I need to tell him, 'Daddy's alright'!" I told Leopold.

"Uh, there's something that you don't remember, isn't there?"

"What?" At that, the whole room was silent. "What the hell is going on! No, no! Don't tell me-"

"Washcloth is dead!" cried Bernadette (my girlfriend).

"No! No! NO! This can't be happening! Why, God! Why!" I started balling crying there, along with everyone else in the room. That was the start of my depression, and the development of my Schizophrenia. From about a month after that, I started having mood swings, like Bernadette when she was pregnant with Washcloth. I also started doing heroin, which took the edge off a little. I also heard voices, that of Washcloth and the boys saying that they didn't want to get high. "What the fuck! Why don't you just get high, like everyone else, you assholes" is what I used to scream at the walls, and sometimes Bernadette, too. I always lied in Washcloth's old room, screaming things from what I heard, and shooting up on an endless supply of heroin. Leopold just watched in horror, because he couldn't do shit about it.

A/N: Heroin DOES NOT help with Schizophrenia. At least, as far as my knowledge. And once again, I AM STRAIGHT!


	3. Plans

Murderarson's South Park 3: Plans

POV: Kenny

"C'mon, C'mon! Pick up, Bebe!" I shout into the phone. I've been trying to reach her for days, and every time I call, it always goes to voicemail. "God damn it! Why won't she pick up her damn phone!" Then, I get a call from Bebe's house phone! "Thank God! Hello?"

"Stop stalking my daughter, freak!" I hear an angry voice on the other end of the line. Of course her father calls, telling me to leave her alone! How did I guess? You see, her father and I never saw eye to eye, but that's exactly what you expect from a girlfriend's dad. But, I accidentally put a little bruise on her one time, and all hell breaks loose. He shouts at me on the phone, he slaps me across the face when Bebe isn't looking, and once he even threw a Molotov cocktail at my car. Luckily, I stole that car, but the message was still received. I text Bebe, only to get a reply of a middle finger picture. "Jesus! Does he have to be such a hard-ass! She's on lockdown, and all I did was smack her once by accident! Fuck!"

I try calling one of the only people that would understand: Kyle. But he beats me to it.

"Hello?"

"Kenny! Is that you?" says an eager Kyle.

"Yeah. I was about to call you."

"How come I couldn't reach you until now?"

"You talk to me only when I want you to."

"What?"

"Never you mind. Now, can you get me to Bebe?"

"I was calling you about just that. She's been acting strange lately."

"Shit. Does she miss me?"

"Uh…" His hesitation disturbs me. "Yeah, she does, a lot!"

"Whew! That's enough to get me by! Now, is there any way I can meet her?"

"Dude, I don't think you should see her."

"Right, right. Are you fucking her?"

"What?"

"You heard me," I say more maliciously.

"Fuck no, dude! Why would I screw her if she's your girlfriend?"

"Swear on your life?"

"I swear on my life, I am not having sex with Kenny's girlfriend, Bebe."

"Good. Now, why'd you call?"

"Well, Bebe has been acting weird towards me."

"How so?"

"Uh, well, yesterday, she, uh, she asked me out."

"I see. Did she ask you to dinner?"

"Yeah, so?"

"That just means she wants to get acquainted with you. Nothing romantic; just a talk, like business men."

"Oh. Well, okay."

"Is that all?"

"Uh, yeah! Sure. Bye!"

He hung up rather quick, there. Even if he swore on his life, I'm still suspicious of what's going on here. Well, we'll just see at the party.

POV: Cartman

"Uh, yeah!" I moan as I masturbate. Okay, so you're probably thinking, "What the fuck? How did we get to this"? Well, after the scene at the hospital, I go home, the next day, after my mom goes out to dinner, (which is usually followed by sex in a car), I go on my computer, and go to a gay porn site, to really check out if I'm gay or not. I whip it out, and watch these two guys get it on, doggystlye. I start to jack off, and I have an orgasm. Two things happened there. One, I'm gay! God damn it! Second, I start jacking off again. I keep masturbating, and I lose track of time.

My mom comes home, and I don't hear her. She hears the sounds from my room, and goes to investigate. She catches me; I'm speechless.

"Oh my God!" she exclaims.

"Mom! Mom, it's not what you think!" I say as she starts balling crying

"What else could it be? You're gay! My only son, a faggot! Why, Jesus? Why?"

"Mom, I'm not gay! I was just seeing if I was, and I'm not!"

"Bullshit! Stop trying to cover your ass! Your cock is out, your jizz is all over the place, there are two fags fucking on the screen, what else could this be? You're a queer!" she says as she cries even more. I can't stand for it.

"Mom, please stop crying! Please!"

"Fuck you! Get out, now!"

"Mom… I'll go. Just stop crying."

POV: Stan

Wendy and me are sitting in the woods near her house on a cold, tranquil, and dusk afternoon. We talk about the party plans as we roast marshmallows. "So, how are we going to get the booze?" I ask my beautiful lass, whose face glows in the soft firelight.

"Well, I was thinking that you could get your dad to buy some."  
"Hrm, well, I guess he will if I ask him. It is my birthday, after all."

"Yay! Now, how about a performer?"

"Well, no one I like will play at my party to save their lives, so I guess we can just have a boom box and some party music."

"Alright."

"Anything else?"

"How about our relationship?"

"How did I know you'd pop this question?"

"Hahaha! You're so funny! When should we get married?"

"I think sometime after you finish college and get a good career."

"What about you?"

"I'm not going to college."

"Yes you are."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah-huh."

"Nuh-uh! I can't! My family doesn't have the money, with Shelly having a baby and all."

"Bullshit! They can just throw her on the street! That's what my parents would do."

"My family can't do that. They're all she has to raise the baby. Sure, we could dump her on the street, like the trash she is, but then she'd be a beggar, like the hobos from seven years ago. Both the baby and her would die. Being their only daughter, my parents could never swallow that down."

"Your family is made of cunts."

"Don't talk about them like that! Have some respect!"

"Sorry. I just really want you to go to college."

"That makes two of us. Apology accepted." We then kissed, and then made out for two minutes (I counted). She then unzipped my pants, and started jacking me off. "An early birthday present, is this?" She then took off her shirt and bra, exposing her beautiful, good sized, supple breasts. I played with them, while she continued to lightly stroke my penis. Something just didn't seem right, though.

"You know what, this isn't the right time." Wendy stated.

"You're right. To be continued?"

"Until tomorrow." We then got dressed, and talked until the fire stopped burning (around ten o'clock).


	4. Party Part One

**Murderarson's South Park IV: Party-Part One **

**POV: Stan**

The day of the party has arrived! I'm psyched to see what my dad has planned for the alcohol (he said it was a special surprise). I woke up after an approximately two hour nap, and saw a shocking sight. Huge sixteen-wheelers filled with beer, mescal, and whiskey are in my driveway. "Dad, what the hell is going on?" I ask my father.

"Oh, hey! Your awake! Well, I got all of this from a friend of mine that lives in Mexico," replies my father.

"Well, that explains the mescal," I state, "But how did you get the Jack Daniels? Isn't that from Tennessee?"

"What, you think they don't have Jack in Mexico?"

"Okay, then." At that moment, I see Wendy walk up the driveway in awe of the beverage trucks.

"Stan! I tried calling you! What is all this?" my sweet asks.

"Alcohol from Mexico," I elaborate.

"I have some friends in Tijuana that have warehouses of this shit," my dad further explains to Wendy.

"Randy, can Stan and me take a short walk?" Wendy asks.

"As long as your back before the party, and you don't give him an early birthday present," said my father.

"Dad! Would you please shut up? Jesus!" I ask my annoying father.

POV: Kyle

**The Night Before...**

I took Kenny's advice and went on this "business date" with Bebe. We went to B. F. Chang's for this date. I think that Bebe took this as more than a casual dining. She talked about very private subjects, such as my genitals, and I think she felt my crotch once or twice. When we both knew what she was doing, I said to her, "Hey! Would you cut it out! Your my best buddy's girlfriend, for Christ's sake!"

"No, I'm not," she casually replied.

"What! When did you ever end your relationship?"

"It's pretty complicated."

"How?"

"Well, my family convinced me that Kenny is just poor trash."

"Don't talk about him like that!"

"Don't you tell me what to do!" She sounded really pissed now. "Besides, there are plenty of better fish in the sea... Like you," she said in a seducing voice, as she felt up my leg.

"BACK THE HELL OFF!" I shouted at her.

"Is there a problem?" asked the waiter.

"Fuck yeah, there is! This whore is trying to fuck me, an she's dating my best friend!" I shouted at him.

"No, I'm not! Now shut up! You're making a scene out of yourself!" Bebe said to me.

"I don't give a rat's ass if I'm making a damn scene! Get the fuck away! I never want to see you again, you whore!"

Mothers were covering their kid's ears, fathers were complaining to waiters, and Bebe was about to choke me. Finally, the manager walked to our table and kicked us out. It was a wild night.

**The next day...**

I'm taking a shower in preparation for Stan's party. I'm pretty mad at Stan for this. He was supposed to just have a bonfire or something with some friends. Now this party bullshit! I have a bad feeling about this. For one, I think that Bebe might take advantage of a drunk me. Next, I might say something that I don't mean to Stan. Third, and this is a wild card, I may get hammered, blackout wasted and rape Wendy. I put in my shampoo. Despite my strange thoughts and suspicions, I'm still going to the party. What kind of a dick move would it be to not show up at my best friend's birthday party, when I know damn well when and where it's at? I put in my conditioner. My hair has turned from Jew-fro to emo-like hair. I constantly comb it back with my hand, but conditioner and my hat help a lot.

My phone rings. I decide to ignore them, and call them back after I finish. But, it kept ringing. They called about five times in succession, replaying the chorus of "Your Betrayal" again and again. Finally, I pick it up after I finish my shower (rather hastily for my liking). Of course. The bitch I loathe the most in the damn world right now; Bebe. "What the fuck do you want?" I ask with contempt.

"Why so angry? Is it from B. F. Chang's last night?" she asks. Damn whore, trying to fuck my head.

"Leave me alone."

"Why? I like you. If you don't..."

"Look, I might be acting a bit harsh. But I have legitimate reasons for this. As for liking you, I do like you, well, sort of. Your nice, your hot, but, your dating my friend-"

"How many times do I have to tell you? I am not dating him!"

"In his eyes, you two are still in a relationship! I can't betray him like that! But if he knew, then I guess I would date you, after some time for Kenny to cool down."

"Well, Kyle, it's now or never with me!"

"If he knew, then I'd go out with you! But he doesn't!"

"Then call him and let him know!"

"I tried to! It just goes straight to voicemail!"

"Oh, well." She then hung up.

"Fucking bitch!" I shout to myself.

I then get a picture message that says, "Unless you want to miss out on this, get over your feelings and meet me at the party." It also has a naked picture of her masturbating attached to it. The towel rose when I saw that, if you get what I mean. I don't know what to do. Should I do her? Should I not and be true to my friend? God, this is all so confusing! Well, I should just get dressed, go to the party, and see what happens...

**POV: Cartman**

This sucks ass, being on the streets like this! At least I know of one place to go: The KKK Fair. Alright, so you might be thinking, "What the hell? The KKK has a fair?". Well, they do. Don't ask me why, but it's for the kids, I suppose. I walk up, and there's a "Whiteness and $5 Admission" fee. Well, one of those is obvious! No need for a sign! However, I pay the fee (adding $5 to an otherwise empty pickle jar) and walk past to Klansman wearing those white dress-like things and AK-47's. Except for those two people (who were pretty nice to me, wishing me a good day) everyone was wearing normal clothing. The place wreaked of home-brewed ale, urine (from the "Piss on a Live Mexican" stand), corpses (from the "Lynch the ****** And Win a Hitler Doll or a Swastika Armband" stall.)(the stars represent the "n" word), and vomit.

Besides the attractions I mentioned, I also saw port-o-potty's lined in a row, a "Kike Gun Poker" stand (where you play poker, and when you win, you shoot at an Jewish woman), and an entire mobile home community, with a clubhouse at the center which stated, "Now Accepting Members". That's where I'm headed. I walk over (after paying $10 to piss on the Mexican. $10? Come on!) and enter the clubhouse. The room all looked at me, and I said, "Die Personifikation des Teufels als Sinnbild alles Bösen übernimmt der lebendigen Gestalt des Juden."

"Okay, then! Your in, brother!" said what I believe to be the head Klansman, at least at the time.

"Willkommen auf der Klan, Bruder!" said another person in the room. I never knew that the Klan spoke German (well, with Hitler and all, I see why). I sat down with the men, and joined a game of poker.

**POV: Stan**

Wendy and I began to walk on the slate path through the woods hand-in-hand. "So, what do you want to talk about?" I ask my love.

"Well, at the party, we both might get pretty drunk," Wendy said to me.

"What, do you think I'm gonna take advantage of you or cheat? You know that I'd never dream of that, even if I'm hammered," I reassure her. Truthfully, I don't have any idea whether I'll cheat on her or take advantage of her or anything like that.

"You don't know if you'll do anything wrong or not," she says, seeing through my faux comfort. "You've never had a drop of alcohol in your life."

"The same goes for you!" I retaliate (I don't know why I am, though). "You might get horny, and a drunk me probably won't stop you from screwing him!"

"Please don't turn this into an argument. Neither of us wants to put up with bullshit like this today."

"You're right. Sorry."

"Apology accepted. As I was saying, we both might get wasted and we might have sex. If so, I want at least one of us to be ready."

"So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying you should have condoms."

"Oh, come on! Don't make me ask him!"

"If not I'll ask him."

"What?" This hit me by surprise! "You would do that?"

"Yes, I sure as hell would."

"You'd be sabotaging our relationship!"

"No, I wouldn't! Your dad's cool!"

"But it's so embarrassing!"

"Unless you want me to ask him, you'll do it."

"Okay, fine. You win. I'll ask him. Now, how about some sugar to hold me over until tonight?" We then promptly made out. Sure, it's not the smoothest line, but at least it got the job done, in a sense.

**Later that night...**

Of course, nobody's on time! No big deal, though. I'm sure they'll arrive soon. And sure enough, here's Kyle! He is wearing no hat (strange for him), a Bullet for my Valentine t-shirt, jeans, and a glum look.

"Hey, man! Where've you been? Why so down?" I ask him.

"It's Bebe." he replies with a sad tone.

"Didn't you have that dinner with her?"

"That was the biggest disaster that restaurant has ever fucking seen," he says, more agitated than before.

"Okay! Well, I'm sorry for you. I wish I could understand your situation, man. But, you might as well enjoy yourself for the time being," I tell my friend.

"What, are you trying to get me drunk?"

"No! Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. Sorry I'm so hostile. It...it's just the situation with Bebe. Everything is so confusing."

"I see. Well, there isn't much to do, you're the only one here, I spoke too soon! Hey, Clyde! Hi, Rebecca!" I say to the couple advancing up the driveway. Heidi followed them, then Token and Rhoda (at whom Wendy scowled at), then Butters, then Pip (I don't know why he'd come here), then Bebe from whom Kyle hid from for as long as possible. Then the party got started, as well as the Call of Duty tournament (Pip, surprisingly, won; who would've known he kicks ass at Call of Duty?).

A/N: I am not racist, nor do I support any of the ideology of Adolf Hitler. This is all fictional. Also, to any Jewish people that may be offended, I apologize for using the term "kike" to describe a person that practices Judaism in my story. Also, I don't know if the restaurant name is B.F. Chang's or B.F. Wang's or whatever. Please don't complain. As long as you get the point, it doesn't really matter. Just wanted to clear that up before the end of the chapter.

**POV: Wendy**

The party really got started after the stupid Call of Duty tournament. Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is with boys and video games! It's like an addicting drug that causes loneliness and people to live in their parent's basement until forty! Well, enough of my ranting. I noticed that Rhonda was cheering Token on a lot, mostly distracting him with her seductive cheers. I think that she was competing with me on being a good girlfriend, though I didn't do much else other than verbal encouragement. Unlike her, I have a little something called dignity, so I didn't take her on. Even though I probably would in a different situation.

Anyway, after the tournament, as a result of the bet formed from the challenge, all the boys bought Pip a round of shots (he requested brandy, but since no one here was a British-y fag, he got the hardest mescal that Randy could buy). After the public drinking display, the stereo was turned on and everyone started to dance. Stan and I were dancing like there was no tomorrow (mostly because Rhonda was trying to compete with me again). Everything in the house bounced and vibrated in pace with the music. Clyde and Rebecca were dancing with forties in hand, most of it spilling on them. Pip was on the bar, dancing like a blithering Neanderthal. Wow, that mescal had to be _strong_! The bartender, Randy, as you can plainly deduce, wasn't pleased with this. He pantsed him, exposing his balls to God and everybody. Pip lost his balance, and tumbled down off the bar, surely bruising himself.

"Hey, Wendy! Quit staring at his sack and get over here!" Stan shouts. "I'm gonna have my first beer!"

"Oh, God!" I thought to myself. Still, I approach the crowd around Stan.

"Come, on! Get over here and have one with me!" Stan said, beckoning me over to the center of the throng.

"Yeah, whore! Go and speed up your fuck-fest with your man!" Rhonda said.

"You little fucking bitch! I'll fucking choke you!" I shouted, outstretching my hands, which were inaclaw.  
"Hey, hey! Break it up!" said Bebe, in a courageous move. Token was the only one restraining Rhonda from clawing Bebe's eyes out. Kyle, who was standing next to Stan, recoiled as Bebe passed him with a wink. I didn't need to respond to Stan's request. He took the hint.

"Okay, Kyle! This is a defining memory in both our lives!" said my handsome, masculine Stan.

"You said it! Three, two, one, Bottom's up!" said Kyle, as they interlocked arms and chugged. Kyle has a shot of mescal, but Stan has a twelve-ounce can of beer. Both of them recoil a little after drinking their beverages, but let out a synchronized "Woo-hoo!". We all give them applause (I find it strange why, but I chime in for Stan's sake). Then, my boyfriend got a forty for himself, and a twelve-ounce can of beer for me. We then proceed to dance, as Kyle just sat at the bar, shooting mescal like it was milk.

**POV: Kyle**

Jesus Christ! Will this bitch leave me the fuck alone already! I don't want to deal with this bitch right now! My only solution is to drown my problems with mescal, similar to my dad. I keep having to move from place to place until she finally catches up to me and I'm forced to confront her. Fuck!

"Ugh! What do you want, for the love of God?" I ask in an annoyed tone.

"I don't see why you resent me so much," Bebe stated.

"Look, if I could get a hold of Kenny, then I would tell him about this break-up! Until then, I won't accept your advances, devil!" I shout at her, in a tipsy drawl. That last sentence was most likely from the tequila.

"Okay, you're obviously buzzed. Now, why don't you try to talk to him now?"

"Fine, I will! But not from your advice, Lucifer-a!"

"Wow. You might be more than buzzed."

I dial the number, and walk out of the house. "Stay away, will you?" I ask Bebe. Luckily, she obeys. Dial tone. "Yes!" I cheer quietly to myself. Dial tone. Dial tone. Now I start to worry. Dial tone. Just as it goes to voicemail, he picks up.

"Hello?" he asks. I can tell he's driving.

"Hey, man! What have you been doing?" I ask him. I only talked to him once, so something's up.

"Never mind me. What have you been doing, Mr. Alcohol?" Damn! He knows I've been drinking! Not that it's not too hard, but this ruins my credibility!

"Mescal, for your information." Idiot! Why did I blurt that out?

"Huh. Well, how did the business date go?"  
"Shitty as diarrhea! Ha ha! But, she took it as more than a date."

"You probably made a wrong move somewhere down the line. Don't worry."

"No, no! You don't get it! She broke up with you! She wants me now!"

"What alcohol can do." He then proceeded to laugh hysterically, almost like he was crazy.

"You don't-" I was cut off by him rudely hanging up on me. Jack off! I'm trying to help him out! And he just hangs up on me and ignores me! Then, the damnedest thing happened. Bebe, with a smirk on her face, took-

**POV: Cartman**

"Brother, you need to prove your allegiance to the Klan!" said the head Klansman.

"We understand that you know of a covetous, thieving, conniving kike in South Park; a boy by the name of Kyle Broflowski," said another, higher Klansman.

"Your assignment is to kill him."

"What?" I said with surprise. "Why not Token Black?"

"You would be, what we call, a 'Jew Specialist', since you hate the kikes so Goddamn much."

"Thus, you must kill the kike," chimed in another Klansman.

"I see. When will I get my chance?"

"How and when you kill him is up to you. You just have to kill him, and present to us a picture of his corpse to confirm your service to the White Kingdom," said the head Klansman.

"Alright. I understand," I say to him, and bid him a good day. With these feelings I've had lately, I don't know if I can do this. I can't think. I decide to go to Stark's Pond to think, and guess who I find there? Fucking Butters! Oh my God! I can't have a moment to myself! And guess who he's with? Heidi! How the Sam Hell does a loser like Butters get with a fine bitch like Heidi? The world makes no Goddamn sense! I just hide under the pier and jack off to the scene. It's just not the same as the gay porn, but it can still get the job done for me. After that, I just sit under the pier and think. Can I kill Kyle? Well, first I must find out my definite sexual orientation. I'll go to that party of Stan's, and try to fuck a drunk whore. I'll use the suicidal trick on them (pretend that you're suicidal because you're ugly or something, and then see if they will fall for the bait and fuck you to save your life). So I'm not noticed by any of the other girls as trying to get laid, I'll simply buy a round for all the girls once or twice.

Once that part is complete, I will attempt to kill Kyle. Most likely I will actually get the ammunition for the gun I will use in the first plan, then shoot him after a carefully-planned abduction (that will be arranged at a later time), and when I find a place for the kike corpse to be hidden, I will proceed to put him there. But first, before all of this, we must report to the party. Wait. We? Who's we? Me, Cartman. Your only companion, the voice in your head, T. T? Is that why you sound like Towelie? Precisely, Cartman. We will help you throughout your days as the conqueror of the Jew Race. Okay, T. We're off to the party, the party leading to a murder...


End file.
